#ThursdayThoughts / why we need to break the stigma around antidepressants

I was mildly nervous to admit to people that I had started taking an antidepressant. I realize I have formed an image of being as consciously organic as possible/reasonable, preaching the benefits of meditation, journaling, and CBD as natural anxiety relievers. I wanted to prove to others but mostly myself that I could handle this on my own, through sheer willpower and determination. I will just meditate the anxiety attacks away. It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine.

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What’s Inside My Anxiety Toolkit

I’m not going to skirt around it, I have been struggling recently. On the heels of being very busy and productive as I had planned to be in August, I found myself reeling from a major anxiety attack. It kept me up for most of the night, I was tossing and turning, shivering and crying. My mind was racing with all the things I had to do both at work and at home and how I just wanted a break from it all. I was completely unable to focus on what I had going on that week and instead was fixated on my entire future. As if that wasn’t enough to worry about, I kept glancing at the clock and counting down the hours of sleep I would have left until it was time to get up and get ready for work. When I finally woke up the next morning, my sleep cycle app told me my sleep quality was at its all-time lowest…60%. I woke up feeling exhausted, irritable, and entirely depressed. This is what my anxiety looks like.

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